For the very first real entry in this wonderful blog I had meant to post something silly and meaningless, like the “Fish Heads” song–and if you’re unfamiliar with that ditty or need reminding, it’s here [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKDtUzRIG6I]. But yesterday, I ran across this sanctimonious (though probably well meaning!) asshole, and that plan went out the window:
tl/dr: an American dude patting himself on the back for being savvy enough to flee the US and get a free master’s degree and generally conducting himself like a parody of the “woke white male” kinda guy that right wing chicken-fuckers like to get in a lather about
Now, I understand how someone would want to leave the United States. Doing so has a proud history, and everyone who has read about the “Lost Generation” writers will fondly recall fantasies of walking through Montmartre smoking Gauloises after drinking cheap red plonk at a charmingly tatty bistro. Or chewing Khat in Tangier. Or sunning in a Venetian gondola. (You may have done these things: good for you! Travel can really broaden one’s perspective) The examples are legion. And not just writers! A lot of Americans have given up on the place, for a lot of different reasons. All of these reasons are valid as far as that goes, and peril be to those who would judge their relative morality. We flee because, at the time, we must. I’m not judging anyone, least of all @jacobarthur30 on instagram, for the “why” of their leaving the US and vowing to never go back.
For the sake of sanity, I won’t address every last particular in his almost–impressive recitation of statistics, or his delivery—he’s obviously got a lot to get off his chest, and I want to accord him the respect that a spirited performance deserves. But peacockery of this sort misses the point entirely. All of this is a sort of category error when we consider what is at stake in the world today.
During his harangue, @jacobarthur on instagram notes that jingoistic Americans call the US “The Greatest Country on Earth” even though all of the terrible things he recounts about us are true. But America isn’t the greatest country on earth, because this isn’t a thing. “Greatest Country on Earth” is a very close relative to thought-terminating clichés like “it is what it is” or “now is not the time.” It’s a pill that stupid people take to calm their fears about their own shortcomings. It wouldn’t even be worth considering if it didn’t lead us to the real point.
What the United States actually is, is the most significant country on earth. This is undeniable: we have the biggest economy, the biggest military, and the biggest impact on countries outside our borders. I could bore the reader to insanity listing all the things wherein the US is the leader, but that last point is the most important. The effect of the US’s attention on another country can be positively transformative or ruinous, but it is never insignificant. China is an important country, for example, but they have a long way to go before they are as significant, and truthfully, we should hope they don’t: we should hope for a future where no country ever again has this outsized importance. Everyone else in the world would probably feel less nervous if that were the case (at least, we non-authoritarians would, and we’re the majority).
But until that glorious day the US is the most significant country on the planet. For all the terrible things America has done in the world, its impact would be much worse if the country were to go full fascist. We got a glimpse of that during the Stumpy maladministration. The US pulled out of the Paris Climate accord. It got friendly with the world’s most odious dictators. We moved closer to blowing ourselves up. This is another one of those areas where I could go on and on about how this would negatively affect the world until you, dear reader, would wish for the sweet embrace of death, but I’m going to assume that you are not a complete asshole who’s lost the thread. If the country goes full fascist, all of those things will be significantly worse, up to and including the aforementioned blowing ourselves up.
This new fascist regime would last for a long time. It would be very hard to turn around, and could very well last for the rest of recorded human history which, again, is part of that blowing ourselves up thing. It might require a WW2-sized war to break a fascist America, which could entail something like oh my god we’re here again blowing ourselves up. It would not be the halting journey towards the light we’re on right now—the one our friends on the cosplay left are so very critical of every single fucking minute of the day as they parade their supposed moral superiority. It would be the kind of thing where those same leftists would land in camps, along with a lot of other people.
Which brings me back to @arthurjacob30 on instagram. It would be great to have @arthurjacob30 on instagram right here in the US with us fighting fascism. It really would! He’s seems fairly intelligent, passionate about equality and environmental justice, and he seems to be on the right side of a lot of issues (let’s assume all those “seems” are true). It’s always better to have those passionate people on your side and working with you to turn back an epochal catastrophe—and make no mistake, America turning into a Herrenvolk democracy or a non-competitive democracy like Mexico with the GQP in charge would be a terrible thing, and not just for people in the US. It would have a worldwide negative impact.
[Anyone who thinks a full fascist government is impossible here can just go fuck off right now. It’s a position that isn’t supported by facts, and won’t be entertained here. You should be ashamed for pushing such an asinine position. If you need instructions on fucking yourself, let us know]
And yes, @jacobarthur on instagram can do things in the worldwide fight against fascism—I’m sure he will!—right there in Germany. But the real fight is here, in the most significant country on earth. It’s in organizing, registering voters, convincing people right here, people who vote (another thing @jacobarthur on instagram could do if he lived here that would help in the fight against American fascism), and it’s always nice to have another intelligent comrade in the fight. And it dodges a lot of uncomfortable questions about access and acceptance when that person is a white male with a college education.
I’m glad @jacobarthur on instagram feels passionately about these issues, and I know he’s going to be an asset in the fight for equality and liberty in Germany. As a matter of fact, he should stay in Germany, for at least twenty years or so: that way, the Germans get their money’s worth for the free master’s degree they just underwrote for him. So I return to my title: stay in Germany, asshole, because we have enough cosplay leftists who miss the whole point right here already. If you decide to shed your fine, peacock-ey feathers and really get dirty, we’d be happy to have you.